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Authors:

Erma Bombeck quotes

American Journalist February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996

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Quotes

Erma Bombeck quote: "Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Erma Bombeck
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for,..."
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe..."
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings. Erma Bombeck
Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "when go created mothers"
when go created mothers Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't..."
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be..."
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage...."
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and..."
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you..."
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than..."
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. Erma Bombeck
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "God created man, but I could do better."
God created man, but I could do better. Erma Bombeck

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