English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:

Erma Bombeck quotes

American Journalist February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996

Cite this Page: Citation

Quotes

Erma Bombeck quote: "Never order food in excess of your body weight."
Never order food in excess of your body weight. Erma Bombeck
Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken. Erma Bombeck
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. Erma Bombeck
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if..."
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "It goes without saying that you should never have more..."
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Never have more children than you have car windows."
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids."
Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be..."
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. Erma Bombeck
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. Erma Bombeck
I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be..."
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven. Erma Bombeck
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? Erma Bombeck

Popular Author

Related Authors