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George Carlin Quotes (displaying: 1 - 10 of 294 quotes)

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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
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A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn't only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you're burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it's only a symbol. It's only a piece of cloth.
George Carlin
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Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.
George Carlin
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I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's nothing wrong with suckin' dicks. Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doin' it. I say, Drop the pipe, and go to the dick! That's my advice. I'm here to help.
George Carlin
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
George Carlin
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Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
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