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George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin quotes

American Comedian, Actor May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008

TOP 10 George Carlin quotes

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Quotes

George Carlin quote: "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a..."
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get..."
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon..."
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. George Carlin
Did you ever eat a whole box of cookies right in a row? Did you ever do that? I don't mean take them into your bedroom or something. I mean open them right up in the kitchen as soon as you get home from the store and eat 'em while you're standing there? Just stare at the toaster while you're eatin' a whole goddamn box of cookies? George Carlin
A woman told me her child was autistic, and I thought she said artistic. So I said, 'Oh great. I'd like to see some of the things he's done. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those..."
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for..."
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? ..."
Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed. George Carlin
I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore. George Carlin
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done. George Carlin
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. George Carlin
Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way. George Carlin

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