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George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin quotes

American Comedian, Actor May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008

TOP 10 George Carlin quotes

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Quotes

George Carlin quote: "Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half..."
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a..."
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it..."
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Pardon me I've got nothing to say."
Pardon me I've got nothing to say. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was..."
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin
No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a..."
How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette? George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Always do whatever's next."
Always do whatever's next. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll..."
THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what..."
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. George Carlin
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass."
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Twat is twat and that is that."
Twat is twat and that is that. George Carlin

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