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George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin quotes

American Comedian, Actor May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008

TOP 10 George Carlin quotes

George Carlin quotes in russian
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Quotes

So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Although the photographer and the art thief were close..."
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that..."
I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every..."
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying..."
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face..."
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. George Carlin
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I..."
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. George Carlin
I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad somebody in sports got stabbed. I like the idea of it; it's good entertainment. If we're lucky, it'll spread through sports. And show business, too! Wouldn't you like to see a guy jump up on stage and stab some famous singer? Especially a real shitty pop singer? Maybe they'll even start stabbing comedians. Fuck it, I'm ready! I never perform without my can of mace. I have a switchblade knife, too.... George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning..."
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin
The symphony orchestra had played poorly, so the conductor was in a bad mood. That night he beat his wife--because the music hadn't been beautiful enough. George Carlin
George Carlin quote: "Everyone smiles in the same language."
Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. George Carlin

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