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Authors:

Graham Chapman quotes

British Comedian January 8, 1941 – October 4, 1989

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Quotes

Graham Chapman quote: "You know, Python should have won a Grammy for our musical work..."
You know, Python should have won a Grammy for our musical work on the show. Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black..."
My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white. Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been..."
Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people. Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no..."
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government Graham Chapman
You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians. Graham Chapman
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again... Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "I hope I will have achieved something lasting."
I hope I will have achieved something lasting. Graham Chapman
In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again. Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others."
It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others. Graham Chapman
Father Pierre, why did you stay on in this colonial Campari-land, where the clink of glasses mingles with the murmur of a million mosquitoes, where waterfalls and whiskey wash away the worries of a world-weary whicker, where gin and tonics jingle in a gyroscopic jubilee of something beginning with J? Graham Chapman
you been shopping? no i been shopping. well what'd you buy? i bought a piston engine. well how you going to cook it? you don't cook it it's a piston engine! well your not going to eat it raw are you? oh, i never thought of that... Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your..."
WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color? Graham Chapman
Graham Chapman quote: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition..."
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition... Graham Chapman
First you must find... another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring! Graham Chapman
Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway! Graham Chapman

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