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Groucho Marx quotes

American Comedian October 2, 1895 – August 19, 1977

TOP 10 Groucho Marx quotes

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Quotes

Groucho Marx quote: "A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a..."
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus"
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order..."
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff."
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make..."
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong."
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to..."
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til..."
We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse."
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "All geniuses die young."
All geniuses die young. Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx quote: "Humor is reason gone mad."
Humor is reason gone mad. Groucho Marx
I sent the club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER. Groucho Marx

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