English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:
Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Mitch Hedberg quotes about people

American Comedian February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005

Cite this Page: Citation

Quotes

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky. Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg quote: "Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and..."
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show. Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg quote: "I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and..."
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. Mitch Hedberg
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it. Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg quote: "Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes. Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg quote: "It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because..."
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky. Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg quote: "It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you..."
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg quote: "I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg

Popular Author

Related Authors