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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield quotes

American Comedian November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004

TOP 10 Rodney Dangerfield quotes

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Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster..."
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket..."
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front..."
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big..."
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be..."
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "Men who do things without being told draw the most wages."
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up."
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the..."
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat..."
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to..."
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some..."
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes..."
I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control. Rodney Dangerfield

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