English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:

Stephen Colbert Quotes

Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!

Stephen Colbert

About author

Related Authors

Topics

Quotes currently Trending

Emily Blunt quote: "There is absolutely, 100 percent, a light at the end of the..."
There is absolutely, 100 percent, a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone who stutters. Emily Blunt
Malcolm Gladwell quote: "Practice isn't the thing you do once you're good. It's the..."
Practice isn't the thing you do once you're good. It's the thing you do that makes you good. Malcolm Gladwell
I don't think feminism is about the exclusion of men but their inclusion... we must face and address those issues, especially to include younger men and boys. Annie Lennox
Julie London quote: "Bobby Troup and I have been working together for about a year..."
Bobby Troup and I have been working together for about a year in clubs. We work in the same club. Julie London
Here is a list of terrible things, The jaws of sharks, a vultures wings. The rabid bite of the dogs of war, The voice of one who went before, But most of all the mirror's gaze, Which counts us out our numbered days. Clive Barker
My needlework teacher suffered from a problem of vision. She recognised things according to expectation and environment. If you were in a particular place, you expected to see particular things. Sheep and hills, sea and fish; if there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs. Jones and talk about fishcakes. But most likely, she's do what most people do when confronted with something they don't understand. Panic. Jeanette Winterson
I have four shelves covered with journals that I've written. Dad and I are writing songs together. I've probably written 100 songs. Miley Cyrus
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis
Carrie Underwood quote: "Being a part of SKECHERS is exciting. It is such a hip company..."
Being a part of SKECHERS is exciting. It is such a hip company with a great attitude and image. Carrie Underwood
Alan Moore quote: "Fiction and fact: only madmen and magistrates cannot..."
Fiction and fact: only madmen and magistrates cannot discriminate between them. Alan Moore
Gregory Bateson quote: "Every move we make in fear of the next war in fact hastens it."
Every move we make in fear of the next war in fact hastens it. Gregory Bateson
Shakespeare and his work will always be relevant. He wrote those pieces hundreds of years ago and we haven't really changed as humans, have we? We have to deal with love, honour and adultery now - people were the same then, too - that's what's so wonderful and powerful. Michelle Dockery
Donald Johanson quote: "One has to devote oneself to a particular pursuit. To be..."
One has to devote oneself to a particular pursuit. To be successful at anything, you have to make a total commitment to it. Donald Johanson
The world does not speak. Only we do. The world can, once we have programmed ourselves with a language, cause us to hold beliefs. But it cannot propose a language for us to speak. Only other human beings can do that. Richard Rorty
When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being--and a normal one, at that? Elizabeth Gilbert