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Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen quotes about him

American Director December 1, 1935

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Quotes

It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that's how I feel about relationships. They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs. Woody Allen
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can..."
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. Woody Allen
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that..."
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and..."
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be..."
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in those words. Woody Allen

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