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Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen quotes about thinking

American Director December 1, 1935

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Quotes

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after--who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we... Woody Allen
It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that's how I feel about relationships. They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs. Woody Allen
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot"
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. Woody Allen
You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really..."
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear..."
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert..."
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed. Woody Allen
Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money..."
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He..."
I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves. Woody Allen

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