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Canned Quotes (page 828)

The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. Jerry Seinfeld
I detest that woman [Rachel Lynde] more than anybody I know. She can put a whole sermon, text, comment, and application, into six words, and throw it at you like a brick. L. M. Montgomery
Hey Bil-!'Just then my air choked off- Jacob grabbed me up in a bear hug too tight to breathe and swung me around in a circle.'Wow, it's good to see you here!''Can't. . . breathe,' I gasped. He laughed and put me down. Stephenie Meyer
Terry Prachett quote: "That's sarcasm! You can't talk to me like that! You're just a..."
That's sarcasm! You can't talk to me like that! You're just a servant!"That's right. And so are you. Terry Prachett
There's no way to cheat a sensualist like me, somebody who can die laughing for hours over the pattern of the carpet in a hotel lobby. Anne Rice
I've found that many of the people who have a passion for karaoke too often have misplaced confidence, which can become aggressive and border on sadistic. I know my limits, and karaoke is where I draw the line. I wouldn't put anyone through the hell of listening to me sing a song, and I sure as shit wouldn't wait in line to do it. Chelsea Handler
If gratitude and esteem are good foundations of affection, Elizabeth's change of sentiment will be neither improbable nor faulty. But if otherwise--if regard springing from such sources is unreasonable or unnatural, in comparison of what is so often described as arising on a first interview with its object, and even before two words have been exchanged, nothing can be said in her defence, except that she had given somewhat of a trial to the latter method in her partiality for Wickham, and... Jane Austen
Some people just shouldn't be disturbed in their inclinations, whether large or small. A reminder can instantly turn enthusiasm into aversion and spoil everything. Tove Jansson
How do you know this? Because I'm always watching people. When I watch people I too look through them. I learned that from my mother. To glance is not enough; eyes and brains together, acting like a flock of ravenous birds, flapping, tearing, poking... I know everything about people when I look at them for only a moment. I can tell from their clothes, their walks, their hair and hands, I know all the bad things that they've done. I know how they've failed and how they will fail and how... Dave Eggers
Fyodor Dostoevsky quote: "There is no sin, and there can be no sin on all the earth,..."
There is no sin, and there can be no sin on all the earth, which the Lord will not forgive to the truly repentant! Fyodor Dostoevsky
No woman should have a memory. Memory in a woman is the beginning of dowdiness. One can always tell from a woman's bonnet whether she has got a memory or not. Oscar Wilde
Thomas Hobbes quote: "Nor can a man any more live, whose Desires are at an end, than..."
Nor can a man any more live, whose Desires are at an end, than he, whose Senses and Imaginations are at a stand. Thomas Hobbes
Amy Winehouse quote: "Emulate all the shit my mother hates, I can't help but..."
Emulate all the shit my mother hates, I can't help but demonstrate my freudian fate Amy Winehouse
Here I saw, with my own eyes, that laughter was the most terrible weapon: you can kill anything with laughter - even murder itself. Yevgeny Zamyatin
The materialist theory of history, that all politics and ethics are the expression of economics, is a very simple fallacy indeed. It consists simply of confusing the necessary conditions of life with the normal preoccupations of life, that are quite a different thing. It is like saying that because a man can only walk about on two legs, therefore he never walks about except to buy shoes and stockings. Gilbert K. Chesterton

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