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Dogs Quotes (page 13)

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky. Mitch Hedberg
Mark Twain quote: "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of..."
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Mark Twain
Austin O'Malley quote: "Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you."
Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you. Austin O'Malley
And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it. Mel Tillis
The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his. James Thurber
The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals. James Thurber
Stephanie Zimbalist quote: "I've grown up with dogs and love dogs."
I've grown up with dogs and love dogs. Stephanie Zimbalist
Henny Youngman quote: "This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were..."
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! Henny Youngman
I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar! Demetri Martin
I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar. Demetri Martin
I would look at a dog and when our eyes met, I realized that the dog and all creatures are my family. They're like you and me. Ziggy Marley
I was a dog in a past life. Really. I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take. Like, Hey, I know him. William H. Macy
The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. David Letterman
John Leeson quote: "It couldn't sound like a dog, because K9 isn't a dog, but I..."
It couldn't sound like a dog, because K9 isn't a dog, but I made it sound as mechanical as possible. John Leeson
Maria Sharapova quote: "If I loved a guy as much as I love my dog, the guy would be in..."
If I loved a guy as much as I love my dog, the guy would be in serious trouble. Because I'm all over that dog, all the time. Maria Sharapova

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