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Fart Quotes

Benjamin Franklin quote: "Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly."
Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly. Benjamin Franklin
Farts come from noone and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belongto the group as a whole, and even when every person in theroom can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action isdenial. Paul Auster
Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is. Come let us fart in the home. There is no art in a fart. Still a fart may not be artless. Let us fart and artless fart in the home. Ernest Hemingway
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that. Janet Evanovich
This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart. John Aubrey
And we took off-whoosh-into the night. Through the clouds, we hurtled up into the sky. And this man farted. I will never forget it as long as I live. Not only was it the worst fart, it was the longest. Maybe, it was the position he was in, he had squeezed his ass all up. But he was kinda leanin over and pointing his ass up toward me. And it made the strangest noise. It was like cloth tearing. Billy Connolly
James Joyce quote: "I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could..."
I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. James Joyce
As for the story itself, it was entitled "The Dancing Fool." Like so many Trout stories, it was about a tragic failure to communicate. Here was the plot: A flying saucer creature named Zog arrived on Earth to explain how wars could be prevented and how cancer could be cured. He brought the information from Margo, a planet where the natives conversed by means of farts and tap dancing. Zog landed at night in Connecticut. He had no sooner touched down than he saw a house on fire. He rushed into... Kurt Vonnegut
When the bishop farted we were amused to hear about it. Should the ploughboy find treasure we must be told. But when the ploughboy farts... er... keep it to yourself. Kingsley Amis
Janet Evanovich quote: "Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out. Did..."
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out. Did I fart? Janet Evanovich
The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. Kurt Vonnegut
James Patterson quote: "Nope, you stick out like a fart in a church."
Nope, you stick out like a fart in a church. James Patterson
Samuel Beckett quote: "[A]ll I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante."
[A]ll I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante. Samuel Beckett
The difference here 'twixt simple and witty folk, if the truth be known, is that your plain man cares much for what stand ye take and not a fart for why ye take it, while your smart wight leaves ye whate'er stand ye will, sobeit ye defend it cleverly. John Barth
Human beings in there took turns standing or lying down. The legs of those who stood were like fence posts driven into a warm, squirming, farting, sighing earth. The queer earth was a mosaic of sleepers who nestled like spoons. Kurt Vonnegut

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