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Kidding Quotes (page 37)

Chuck Palahniuk quote: "The government says Rant's alive because they need a villain...."
The government says Rant's alive because they need a villain. The kids say he's alive because they need a hero. Chuck Palahniuk
On the other hand, even a big, '80s love van was less noticeable than six flying kids and their talking dog. So there you go. James Patterson
Looking back, I realize that this period of my life has irrevocably come to a close; my happy-go-lucky, carefree schooldays are gone forever. I don't even miss them. I've outgrown them. I can no longer just kid around, since my serious side is always there. Anne Frank
You don’t care where I live or how I feel, or what I eat or how I feed my kids or how I pay the doctor if I get sick, and yes I am stupid and bored and weak, but I am still your responsibility. Chuck Palahniuk
Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that's some kind of record. Janet Evanovich
Mama and Papa are more to blame (for delinquency) than the kids; parents should stay home and raise their children and spend less time in taverns. Harry S. Truman
The rituals surrounding vacations among Manhattan's wealthiest and best-connected citizens are strange and specific. By vacations I don't mean country houses, which are part of the regular ebb and flow of life and which are frequently subjects for complaint - The kids never want to go! The caretaker missed the roof leak! The pipes froze! - as though having a six-thousand-square-foot, cedar-shingled cottage on five acres overlooking the ocean is nothing more or less than a constant test of... A. Whitney Brown
But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run. Barbara Kingsolver
He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog."I'm only a kid!" I shrieked. "I can't get married!"You could in New Hampshire."My mouth dropped open. How does she know this stuff? "Forget it! No one's getting married!" I hissed. "Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep, before I kill you! James Patterson
Roseanne Barr quote: "I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are..."
I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job. Roseanne Barr
But I'm the only one in my class who has to stay after school."Yeah, well... that's okay. I had to stay after school when I was a kid, too." That seemed to get his attention. "You did?"Yeah. Only I didn't have to do it for only a couple of months, I had to do it for two years."Two years?"Miles nodded for emphasis. "Every day."Wow," he said, "you must really have been dumb if you had to stay for two years."That wasn't my point, but I guess if it makes you feel better, I'll take it."You're a... Nicholas Sparks
Five kids in one lifetime ain’t bad – and I love them all so much. They’re the best things that ever happened to me, no question about it. Ozzy Osbourne
Taking the kids from our districts, forcing them to kill one another while we watch – this is the Capitol’s way of reminding us how totally we are at their mercy. How little chance we would stand of surviving another rebellion. Whatever words they use, the real message is clear. “Look how we take your children and sacrifice them and there’s nothing you can do. If you lift a finger, we will destroy every last one of you. Just as we did in District Thirteen Suzanne Collins
On Final Twist, five college friends take a sixth to an expensive Italian restaurant, supposedly to introduce him to a hot girl, actually to break the news that his mother is dead. This is the InitialTwist. During dessert they are told that, in fact, all of their mothers are dead. This is the SecondTwist. The ThirdTwist is, not only are all their mothers dead, the show paid to have them killed, and the fourth and FinalTwist is, the kids have just eaten their own grilled mothers. George Saunders
Jeffrey Eugenides quote: "She was always saying, 'Fuck this school,' or 'I can't wait..."
She was always saying, 'Fuck this school,' or 'I can't wait until I get out of here.' But so did lots of kids. Jeffrey Eugenides

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