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Authors:

David Sedaris quotes

American Writer December 26, 1956

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Quotes

David Sedaris quote: "I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a..."
I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter. David Sedaris
Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit... David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "In trying to be memorable, you wind up sounding unspeakably queer"
In trying to be memorable, you wind up sounding unspeakably queer David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Well, that's a hell of a reason to poison yourself."
Well, that's a hell of a reason to poison yourself. David Sedaris
I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "You’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to know what you’re..."
You’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to know what you’re getting yourself into, so if there’s blame, blame yourself. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't..."
To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I've been keeping diaries for 27 years."
I've been keeping diaries for 27 years. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone."
He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I don't have email."
I don't have email. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger."
You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and..."
But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners."
I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building..."
...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to..."
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. David Sedaris

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