English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:

George Carlin Quotes

I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself...

George Carlin

About author

Related Authors

Topics

Quotes currently Trending

If we admit instrumental musick in the worship of God, how can we resist the imposition of all the instruments used among the ancient Jews?—yea, dancing as well as playing, and several other Judaic actions? or, how can we decline a whole rabble of church-officers, necessary to be introduced for instrumental musick, whereof our Lord Jesus Christ hath left us no manner of direction? Cotton Mather
The elements and majestic forces in nature, Lightning, Wind, Water, Fire, and Frost, were regarded with awe as spiritual powers, but always secondary and intermediate in character. Charles Alexander Eastman
Joan Baez quote: "Nonviolence is a flop. The only bigger flop is violence."
Nonviolence is a flop. The only bigger flop is violence. Joan Baez
John Hancock quote: "There, I guess King George will be able to read that without..."
There, I guess King George will be able to read that without his spectacles! John Hancock
William Golding quote: "Percival was mouse-coloured and had not been very attractive..."
Percival was mouse-coloured and had not been very attractive even to his mother. William Golding
Dennis Farina quote: "This generation of filmmakers is very good. They're seasoned,..."
This generation of filmmakers is very good. They're seasoned, for some reason. Dennis Farina
It is idleness that creates impossibilities; and where people don't care to do anything, they shelter themselves under a permission that it cannot be done. Bishop Robert South
Our lives carry us along in ways we cannot control, and almost nothing stays with us. It dies when we do, and death is something that happens to us every day. Paul Auster
The body, what is it, Father, but a sign To love the force that grows us, to give back What in Thy palm is senselessness and mud? Karl Shapiro
In so far as it takes effect at all, pacifist propaganda can only be effective against those countries where a certain amount of freedom of speech is still permitted; in other words it is helpful to totalitarianism. George Orwell
Girls Incorporated of Greater Philadelphia and Southern New Jersey continues to advance their cause and to strengthen their community by aspiring to open a Girl's Center for Philadelphia. Robert A. Brady
Stephen King quote: "thoes prepared to shed copious floods of crocodile tears . . ."
thoes prepared to shed copious floods of crocodile tears . . . Stephen King
C. S. Lewis quote: "If war is ever lawful, then peace is sometimes sinful."
If war is ever lawful, then peace is sometimes sinful. C. S. Lewis
I have to say. I kind of love all that stuff - those physical challenges. I guess there will come a time when I'll get sick of it but at this stage, I just like it all. Richard Roxburgh
Well, Ms. Fontaine, you look damn good for a dead woman."Her response was to narrow her eyes, arch a brow. "If that's some sort of cop humor, I'm afraid you'll have to translate. Nora Roberts