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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield quotes

American Comedian November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004

TOP 10 Rodney Dangerfield quotes

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Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a..."
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she..."
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it. Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the..."
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a..."
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm."
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to..."
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to..."
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Rodney Dangerfield
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield quote: "my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens"
my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens Rodney Dangerfield

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