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Steven Wright quotes

American Comedian December 6, 1955

TOP 10 Steven Wright quotes

Steven Wright quotes in french
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Quotes

Steven Wright quote: "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my..."
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of..."
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a..."
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "It is like putting a dehumidifier and a humidifier in the same..."
It is like putting a dehumidifier and a humidifier in the same room and letting them fight it out. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I like to reminisce with people I don't know."
I like to reminisce with people I don't know. Steven Wright
I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats..."
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? Steven Wright
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name."
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a..."
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who..."
The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when..."
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. Steven Wright

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