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Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen quotes

American Director December 1, 1935

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Quotes

Woody Allen quote: "You'll find as you go through life that great depth and..."
You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or..."
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and..."
In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Woody Allen
It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on? Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things..."
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen
God, you Jews are truly exotic."Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set. Woody Allen
End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it. Penlope and Javier anxious to work with me again. Said if I ever come up with another screenplay to try and find them. Goodbye drink with Rebecca. Sentimental moment. Everyone in cast and crew chipped in and bought me a ballpoint pen. Woody Allen
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back. Woody Allen
Woody Allen quote: "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you..."
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have. Woody Allen
In formulating any philosophy the first consideration must always be: What can we know? That is, what can we be sure we know, or sure that we know we knew it, if indeed it is at all knowable. Or have we simply forgotten it and are too embarrassed to say anything? Descartes hinted at the problem when he wrote, 'My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs. Woody Allen
It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that's how I feel about relationships. They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs. Woody Allen
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs. Woody Allen
I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child. Woody Allen

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