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Funny Quotes (page 18)

Sex does not enrich or deepen a relationship, it permanently cheapens and destabilises one. Everyone I know who is unfortunate enough to have a sex-mate, joy-partner, bed-friend, love-chum, call them what you will finds that--after a week or two of long blissful afternoons of making the beast with two backs, or the beast with one back and a funny shaped middle or the beast with legs splayed in the air and arms gripping the sides of the mattress--the day dawns when Partner A is keen for more... Stephen Fry
Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all Joseph Heller
Death’s a funny thing. I used to think it was a big, sudden thing, like a huge owl that would swoop down out of the night and carry you off. I don’t anymore. I think it’s a slow thing. Like a thief who comes to your house day after day, taking a little thing here and a little thing there, and one day you walk round your house and there’s nothing there to keep you, nothing to make you want to stay. And then you lie down and shut up forever. Lots of little deaths until the last big one. Neil Gaiman
Neil Gaiman quote: "Bod quite liked crows. He thought they were funny and he..."
Bod quite liked crows. He thought they were funny and he liked the way they helped to keep the graveyard tidy. Neil Gaiman
We are funny creatures. We don't see the stars as they are, so why do we love them? They are not small gold objects, but endless fire. Saul Bellow
The ratman froze, staring at me. "Why are you laughing?" His voice held just a hint of unease. Good. I was hoping that the vampires would come for me soon and save me. You've got to admit that's funny. Laurell K. Hamilton
Nobody said anything while I opened the bag and took out the egg salad sandwich. It was one of those funny moments when a bit of normal human activity embarrasses everybody out of their bluster and hostility, and roles are momentarily laid aside. Jonathan Lethem
Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is connected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny is not musical. Conan O'Brien
I touched the small sacred images. I shook my head and bit my lip, as if to say, How awful that he should have stolen these! But I also found it very funny. And further proof that God had no power over me. Anne Rice
I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny. Jim Morrison
If you want to think about something really funny, kiddo, consider the fact that our favorite modern bad guys became villains by serving as heroes first--to millions. It is now a necessary apprenticeship. William Gass
Nora Roberts quote: "If you were cheap we'd be having sex now, soup later.'That's..."
If you were cheap we'd be having sex now, soup later.'That's supposed to be funny. It is, but only a little. Nora Roberts
Jean Rhys quote: "It's funny, he said, have you ever thought that a girl's..."
It's funny, he said, have you ever thought that a girl's clothes cost more than the girl inside them? Jean Rhys
Woody Allen quote: "It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and..."
It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction. Woody Allen
Real life is a funny thing, you know. I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up. When we didn't say 'I love you'. When we should have said 'I'm sorry'. So there's a time for silence, and there's a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now. Taylor Swift

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