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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Mitch Hedberg quote: "I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and..."

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

Mitch Hedberg

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I wonder why people so commonly suppose that if two individuals are both writers they must therefore be hugely congenial," said Anne, rather scornfully. "Nobody would expect two blacksmiths to be violently attracted toward each other merely because they were both blacksmiths. L. M. Montgomery
How much there is to suffer. When was time enough to pay attention to our lighter emotions? And still I recognize, better than most others who will be resurrected, what blessedness is. Rainer Maria Rilke
My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul. Tim Vine
Anish Kapoor quote: "Being an artist is a very long game. It is not a 10-year game...."
Being an artist is a very long game. It is not a 10-year game. I hope I'll be around making art when I'm 80. Anish Kapoor
Bahrain lies at the epicenter of Gulf security and any violent upheaval in Bahrain would have enormous geopolitical consequences. Global economic stability depends on the uninterrupted export of crude oil from the Gulf to markets around the world - a job that historically has been assigned to the U.S. Fifth Fleet. Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa
Anne Rice quote: "I like to read things I've read before. It's like listening..."
I like to read things I've read before. It's like listening over and over to your favorite song. Anne Rice
William Feather quote: "An idea isn't worth much until a man is found who has the..."
An idea isn't worth much until a man is found who has the energy and ability to make it work. William Feather
Bernardo Bertolucci quote: "A monoculture is not only Hollywood, but Americans trying to..."
A monoculture is not only Hollywood, but Americans trying to export democracy. Bernardo Bertolucci
The hardest thing in the world is believing someone can change. It's always easier to go along with the way things are than to admit that you might have been wrong in the first place. Jodi Picoult
Mark Webber quote: "Formula one is very one-dimensional in terms of what we do in..."
Formula one is very one-dimensional in terms of what we do in the cockpit. Mark Webber
What's lucky about my career in general is that I stumbled into what every writer most wants. Not repeating myself and doing strange things has become my trademark. Jonathan Lethem
If my career detour from special education to singing has done one thing, it has afforded me the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. Clay Aiken
My searchlight expired, but still I ran. I heard voices, and yowls, and echoes, but above all there gently rose that impious, insidious scurrying, gently rising, rising as a stiff bloated corpse gently rises above an oily river that flows under endless onyx bridges to a black putrid sea. Something bumped into me - something soft and plump. It must have been the rats; the viscous, gelatinous, ravenous army that feast on the dead and the living... H. P. Lovecraft
Herbert Read quote: "Creeds and castes, and all forms of intellectual and emotional..."
Creeds and castes, and all forms of intellectual and emotional grouping, belong to the past. Herbert Read
Steven Wright quote: "I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live..."
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious! Steven Wright